Rules To Being Badass

Frank Martin is a man of principles. His strict code of professional ethics and discipline help set the parameters for his total ass-kicking-ness. His stated rules are the following: never change the deal, no names, never open the package, and never make a promise you can’t keep. But in reality, the man lives by a much more extensive set of guidelines (with a few exceptions) that define why he has become one of Hollywood’s ultimate badasses. Here are some of those rules.

1. Dress Like A Professional

A huge part of being a pro is dressing for the job. There’s a reason why cops wear blues, and a reason why scientists wear lab coats. It reminds them and everyone around them why they get paid to do the job they do. In Frank’s case, a black suit and a simple black tie convey the following message: I dress like a hit man because I have no problem messing dudes up.

Exception: Parts of the suit can be removed to be used as a weapon. The entire suit may be removed to have sex with beautiful, exotic women.

2. Don’t Let Women Talk Too Much

There are always times where women will be worked into a job. And if it’s one thing that women are naturally gifted at it’s constantly talking. Seriously, all that yammering can really affect your concentration. Keep them quiet or it can be bad for everyone.

3. Be able to kick the hell out of 19 tough dudes at once

People, this one is cut and dry. And there are no exceptions to the rule. You know what you call bros that win fights ‘some of the time?’ Losers, that’s what. And in Frank’s line of work a loser is a dead man.

4. Never Drink On The Job

There is a time and place for a drink. But screaming down a Hungarian back road in a V12 Audi pushing 140 mph with uzi waving thugs in hot pursuit requires focus. The only part Vodka should play in a day’s work is in anesthetizing bullet or sword wounds that you might have incurred staying true to rule number 3.

5. Never Give Up

Even under the most seemingly impossible situations, your resolve must remain intact until the job is done. Even if you are underwater with a car sinking to the bottom and you can’t get more than 75 feet from the car or you are going to explode, you figure a way out of it. Again, losers are dead men, and dead men don’t deliver the package.

6. Always Drive Your Own Car

When faced with the toughest driving situations there is a pronounced need to know your steed. You can’t nail 90 degree e-brake drifts while you’re rallying through narrow, European alleys in a Fiat hatchback rental. Seriously, I’ve tried it.

Exception: There are times when your car may be stolen or totally demolished. Under such circumstances, it is ok to use whatever is close. This may involve hot-wiring a Benz or totally shredding on a BMX bike.

7. Never Bone While You Are Working

Science has shown that immediately following a sexual encounter, dudes lose a big chunk of their ability and desire to work through inclement situations. So just like it’s bad to drink, its also bad to screw. But even for the most bad ass of badasses, that’s a hard one.

Exception: Beautiful Asians, Beautiful Ukrainians. Beautiful women in general.

8. Take Your Down Time Seriously

When you’re a badass of Frank’s caliber, then you work hard. That means you need to make the most of your down time. Whether that means enjoying a nice Bordeaux by
the fire, or a fishing trip with your buddies, maximizing relaxation is key. Who knows when the next job will come along.

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